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Post by Germany on Jul 24, 2013 12:15:13 GMT -5
Ludwig should have known that Feliciano would have tried to confuse him with Italian proverbs but the taller man was going to stick with the mentality that went with his previous statement. It was really hard to confusing Ludwig especially when it came to poorly strung together ideas. The man was usually good at separating what little information he dimmed important from the information he found completely irrelevant. “Ja, okay, Feliciano. That reasoning will only end up disappointing you.” He answers eventually before they both lapsed into silence.
Brown eyes seemed to fix itself on him and although on most occasions he would probably find it unnerving and snap at the smaller man, today, he met the gaze holding it for a little bit before letting his own gaze drift to something less soul searching. Feliciano’s eyes weren’t as reflective as Ludwig’s but they certainly held a level of profoundness that didn’t always fit with the way the Italian acted.
The Iron Cross he had had the honour of getting (his first one, before all this Nazi madness) hung carefully from his neck. It was held in place by a strong but thin chain and unlike the Iron Cross he had hooked to the top button of his uniform, right below the neck, this Iron Cross held much more meaning and importance to Ludwig. The tall man would hardly be saddened if his current uniform’s crosses were ripped off of him; it was the one he held near his heart that would depress him if it got taken away from him.
Gilbert had been the one to present this one to him and that was why it was even more precious than he cared to admit. It remained in perfection condition for all the years Ludwig has had it. It was also a small memento that reminded him to keep strong even when the situation seemed bleak, like this one, at this very moment.
It was the shift in the mattress that jostled him from his slight descent into unconsciousness. He hadn’t realised he had been that tired but when he saw Feliciano straighten up his eyes immediately followed up the middle of the Italian’s back, over the shoulder and to the side of his face. There was a moment where Ludwig was going to say something but when Feliciano found himself on all fours and was making his way towards the German, all Ludwig could do was react. His eyes widened and barely a few seconds later a small flush came across his features. It was the lack of personal space that really evoked this type of reaction.
Ludwig wasn’t usually the type to believe in superstitions but he figured it would be best to humour Feliciano rather than begin an argument over nothing really. He let the information sink before nodding lightly. “If it makes you feel better than ja, I’ll take it.” Ludwig agrees before leaning a little back. It was hard to resist Feliciano when he was so close and Ludwig just wanted to pull the smaller male against him and keep him safe.
“Is it something small? Easy to transport?” Ludwig asks, since he was the one travelling with it and because he wasn’t sure what he would do with something a little bigger. Then again, it didn’t look like Feliciano had been carrying anything that big on his person when they left. He had noted the way the Italian had gotten fidgety as the smaller man waited for a response from him.
Ludwig re-adjusted himself so the jostle of his movements woke him up a bit as he waited for Feliciano to fetch the item he was planning on giving the blond. The coolness of his Iron Cross shifted against his skin causing his gaze to fall on it for a few seconds before snapping back to Feliciano. He wondered what kind of good luck charm this could be.
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Post by North Italy on Jul 24, 2013 13:17:44 GMT -5
Feliciano had remained close throughout their exchange, a small uncertain smile curving his lips. It was easy to tell that the German was ruffled by his closeness. His friend’s eyes had widened, that blush that Feliciano secretly found to be quite endearing had darkened his cheeks again.
Ludwig leaned back a little as he spoke, and had this encounter taken place years before, the flighty Italian man would have viewed such an action as one of distaste and a form of rejection. Thankfully he knew Ludwig well enough now to recognise that it was merely his companion’s own misgivings about being in close proximity to another that led him to widening the space between them.
Heedless of the gesture and merely wanting to comfort his friend, Feliciano leaned forward and patted his shoulder reassuringly; before mischievously pressing his lips to Ludwig’s temple. He scrambled backwards just a little following this bold move, lest the German not take kindly to such an intrusion.
“It would make me feel better,” he hummed softly. “I know it’s foolish, but it would be reassuring to know you may have even a superstitious form of protection from danger at least.”
Letting his fingers reach out to rest briefly on the chain around Ludwig’s neck, Feliciano smiled almost imperceptibly before finally moving away fully and swinging his legs off the bed in order to stand and trot over to where he’d dumped his clothes.
He rooted through the pile, mumbling quietly in impatient Italian as he hunted for something within the folds of fabric. Feliciano turned his head and grinned cheekily at his friend to reply to Ludwig's query whilst his hands worked almost automatically in their search. “Well unless you’d like to take me as a lucky charm… though that rather defeats the whole purpose of this mission…” he paused as deft fingers delved into his coat pocket and brushed cool metal there. With a small ‘aha’ he scooped the item into his palm and continued as if he hadn’t stopped at all. “It’s perfectly transportable. I’m not sure if you’ll like it or not though…” He trailed off a little anxiously.
What if he didn’t want it after all?
Ignoring the doubting voice, Feliciano practically bounced back to the bed and curled up next to Ludwig letting his fingers uncurl over the item so that Ludwig could see.
“It used to belong to Nonno Roma, centuries ago. Kind of amazing it lasted so long, huh?”
In his hand was a large band of tarnished bronze, a signet ring of sorts, simple in design and obviously very old; but as in good a condition as Feliciano could keep it.
Feliciano beamed almost ear-to-ear as he regarded the ring. “He left it to me; he said it would help protect me from those that wanted to hurt me.” He laughed at the silliness of that and went on. “I know that’s just a tale to tell a child really, but it must kind of work… because I’m still here and so is the ring.” He puffed out his chest as if proud of this accomplishment, tilting his chin with a slight air of smugness.
Grabbing Ludwig’s free hand and pressing it into his palm, Feliciano added. “I want you to have it. If it’s helped me in any way maybe it’ll help you. Besides, it’ll probably suit you better; I could never wear it properly, see?” He lifted his own hand and wriggled the slim fingers experimentally in Ludwig’s line of sight. “I’m too scrawny and the ring wouldn’t fit me like it did him, always thought maybe I’d turn out stronger and it’d fit me one day… guess not.” Feliciano chortled merrily, clearly not caring about the fact he hadn’t grown to the size of his grandfather.
Wetting his lips nervously, Feliciano shrugged in a apprehensive way all of a sudden, seemingly afraid that the gift would be handed back to him. “I usually just wear it on a chain y’know, though these days I just keep it close so it’s not stolen and all… um but anyway i-if you don’t want it I understand… or maybe if you just want to keep it for me for a little while and return it one day when all this is over if it’s not really something you’d like?”
His gaze finally broke from Ludwig’s; uncertainty getting the best of him. The jittery Italian looked down at his hands to distract himself, still pressing the ring into Ludwig’s own.
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Post by Germany on Sept 7, 2013 10:36:44 GMT -5
For some reason Ludwig couldn’t even react properly to the chaste kiss to his temple and even the slight tug of the chain around his neck as Feliciano rested his hand gently against it. His cheeks were already flushed and the tall German sometimes wondered if they would become permanently so because of his small companion. His cheeks would heat up at the Italian’s smallest action whether it be in frustration because the man was being careless, embarrassment because he’d been caught doing something he would have rather keep a secret or when the man breeched his personal space without realising it.
Right now, he knew that Feliciano was aware of what his actions were doing to Ludwig. He had noticed the glint in his companion’s eyes whenever the man decided to test his limits. This wasn’t so much as testing his limits but taking advantage of the limited time they had together. And, for this, Ludwig could let it slide.
Or, perhaps, what really caught his attention and averted his earlier discomfort with such bold actions was the fact that Feliciano was presenting him with an old ring dating back thousands of years. A ring that belonged to Feliciano’s revered grandfather and a figure he admired greatly. The man had achieved so much and honestly Ludwig wasn’t sure where his obsession had come from but he partially blamed Roderich’s ancient history lectures. So when Feliciano curled beside him and practically forced the ring into his hand (since Ludwig hadn’t been responding much) a darker flush crept across his cheeks.
The tall man came back to life as he gently picked up the ring in his fingers to examine it in such childish fascination. It was old, that was clear, but he had never seen a ring so well preserved and he had visited quite a few museums when he was younger in hopes of learning more about the Roman Empire.
Feliciano had every right to be proud of it but it was also an item that Ludwig couldn’t quite accept especially when taking into account its history and what it most likely meant to Feliciano. The tale that the small man had told him was indeed superstitious and definitely far from what has kept Feliciano alive all this time. He didn’t quite believe in such things but the ring definitely held some sort of strength that he hadn’t quite felt in an item before.
There was a long pause and Ludwig had barely taken note of Feliciano’s hands wriggling in front of his face. There was definitely a moment where a long pause developed between them as he continued to study the ring, his expression clearly emitting his shock and disbelief at being given such an item. For a few seconds he had half a mind to return the item back to Feliciano. However, when he glanced up and noticed the expression that had come over the smaller man’s features the thought of destroying what little joy Feliciano seemed to be experiencing was not something he particularly wanted to do.
He carefully slipped the ring onto his ring finger amazed at how well it fit him and wondering if perhaps he should store it somewhere else instead. Ludwig honestly didn’t want to ruin it and it was clear how important of an item it was to Feliciano.
The silence went on between them as he flexed his hand with the ring still on his finger and found it very comfortable if not an odd sight, seeing as he wasn’t one to wear such things. “Feliciano….” His voice was soft and the pain that had been present in his voice nearly the entire journey was missing. “I can’t keep this.”
Ludwig swallows a little as he glances from the ring at the small Italian beside him. “But…what I will do is keep it until we meet again.” There were so many things he wanted to say but didn’t know how to say. He wanted to express how much he admired Feliciano’s grandfather and how much this gesture meant to him but again he lacked the words to even express it properly.
“Don’t think it’s because I don’t want it….I just could never take something that was given to you by your grandfather especially when you love him so much.”
His cheeks were still a dark shade of red and he sat on the bed awkwardly unsure how else to express his gratitude but wanting to do more than what he was currently doing. He swallowed another lump in his throat before turning his body to face the Italian and gazing at him perhaps a little too intensely then necessary. It was clear that he was contemplating many things and eventually his mind focused on one of those things and his lifted his arm to gently caress Feliciano’s cheek with his thumb.
Ludwig’s cheeks darkened again but he didn’t let it stop him from leaning forward and placing an equally chaste kiss to the Italian’s forehead.
“Danke, Feliciano…” He breathes as he closes his eyes and gently pulls Feliciano against him in a meaningful hug.
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Post by North Italy on Sept 7, 2013 11:15:48 GMT -5
There was a moment, a tense fleeting moment, where Feliciano was certain the German man would refuse his offer and return the ring. For what reasons Feliciano wouldn’t have been sure; perhaps he’d feel it too personal a gesture, perhaps he’d be too afraid of someone stealing or questioning him about the ring, or perhaps he just didn’t like it aesthetically. Whatever that reason may be, Feliciano would have respected it, but he would have been saddened as well. It wasn’t often that Feliciano got to do anything much for Ludwig, and so even just this small insignificant gesture was (at least in the Italian’s eyes) some slight way he could repay his friend for all his hard work and kindness.
The tension was rendered moot as instead of giving the ring back, his eyes flickered up to see Ludwig slip it over his finger and take some time to admire it. Feliciano’s heart swelled and he felt a strong, silly urge to giggle at the warmth that had spread through his chest at the acceptance.
It fit him so well. The smallest amount of envy caused his smile to turn wry for a moment or two as he regarded the German man before him, flexing his hand and apparently admiring the ring he was wearing. He shook off the envy as quickly as it had appeared, choosing instead not to dwell on the fact he was tiny compared to Ludwig and his grandfather, but instead how well the band suited his friend, and how much he seemed to like it.
“It looks really good on you…” He trailed off as Ludwig spoke, the beaming grin faltering for a second at the refusal before Ludwig explained himself further. Huffing gently, amusement evident in his gaze, Feliciano took hold of Ludwig’s hand and held it between his own briefly, tilting his head curiously up at his companion. “That’s fair I suppose, but I do really want you to keep it for good, if you like it that is. Nonno wouldn’t mind in the least and nor do I.” He paused, suppressing a snatch of laughter. “Knowing me, I’d probably end up losing the ring one day anyway. At least if it was with you I’d know it was safe and well cared for.” He let his thumb brush the bronze on Ludwig’s finger before releasing his hand squirming happily where he sat. He’d accepted it… sort of. That made the Italian happier than he thought possible.
Feliciano had noticed the silence growing between them, but it was not the uncomfortable sort, for which he was thankful. It was merely peaceful. And although Ludwig appeared a little awkward and unsure of himself at that very moment, Feliciano couldn’t help but feel that sense of peace wash over him completely as he met the somewhat intense gaze of his friend squarely.
What Feliciano wasn’t expecting however, was for Ludwig to reach out and brush his thumb gently over the curve of his cheek, the soft brush of skin and the tenderness behind the gesture made his own cheeks heat and mirror Ludwig’s in colour.
He was just about to let his eyes flutter closed and lean into the touch to enjoy the sensation further when Ludwig surprised him yet again by leaning in close and pressing lips to his forehead. Feliciano’s eyes widened briefly and he attempted to catch Ludwig’s eye, lips parted as if to question him when he was suddenly pulled into a gentle embrace.
Well… it would be rude to question him…
Feliciano tried to keep himself from grinning too broadly at the simple act and instead let his own arms loop around Ludwig in response, nuzzling his face gratefully into the crook of his neck. “Mm, you’re welcome… though really it should be me saying thanks to you.”
He left it at that, revelling in the gentle hold Ludwig had on him instead. This was pleasant… more than pleasant actually. He’d miss this a lot when Ludwig had to leave. He’d miss Ludwig a lot… He tried not to think on it too much and instead enjoyed the moment, smirking and pressing a quick kiss to the underside of Ludwig’s jaw and snuggling closer.
He’d been feeling strangely clingy towards Ludwig more and more of late, even when he’d signed the armistice and left he’d longed to speak to or hug the other man. He couldn’t help but feel he was missing something and mulled it over quietly as he remained quite comfortably in Ludwig’s hold.
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Post by Germany on Sept 7, 2013 11:42:47 GMT -5
Ludwig would definitely consider the offer but right now he at least wanted a reason to see Feliciano again. He knew after this it would be hard if not near impossible. And, he wondered how it would be after the war and what kind of privileges he’d get then depending on the outcome. An outcome he was certainly not looking forward too and had to push out of his mind because right now he was with Feliciano and he wanted it to be just him and the Italian, their duties aside for the moment.
Ludwig curiously glanced down at the mop of auburn hair and the feel of his companion nuzzling against the crook of his neck. He had inadvertently tensed before relaxing again and shifting to wrap an arm around the smaller male’s waist while keeping his other want planted firmly against the bed to keep them upright. His arm begins to slowly bend in an almost attempt to lower them both down so they were lying rather than sitting upright. The plan had been to catch a bit of sleep before he had to leave but if he didn’t find any, he wouldn’t be too disappointed.
Soft lips and a hot breath pressing against the underside of his jaw caused him a small shiver to run down his spine and his cheeks again turned a dark red. He had managed to lower them both down at the same time the smaller male seemed to snuggle closer and Ludwig gently shifted a bit trying to get comfortable while still keeping his companion close.
The exhaustion he had been feeling upon arrival was gone and for once he was feeling the most awake he had felt in a while. Actually, he couldn’t quite remember not feeling tired and so it was definitely an interesting feeling if not a foreign concept for him right now. Ludwig’s blue gaze would constantly glance down at the ruff of hair nestled against him as well as the warm body pressed tight against his side.
He didn’t dare move more than he had for fear of ruining what little peace they seemed to find. Ludwig could feel the ring around his finger and oddly enough it filled him with a strange sense of warmth. One that would get him through the many cold and lonely nights he had ahead of him. However, it also remained him of a certain moment that if he could have he would have wanted to forget. It was also something that he didn’t quite understand considering how comfy and clingy Feliciano was with him. If this was what friendship was like than he couldn’t fathom what anything more would be like because for him this was very intimate.
Ludwig realised that another silence had fallen over them and he almost felt bad for that because if there should be a silence it should be one due to sleep. The German’s gaze fixed on a spot on the ceiling as he remained immobile but his arm still wrapped around Feliciano’s shoulders keeping him close.
“…why did you say no…?”
He felt bad for springing such a heavy question on him but they had never talked about it afterwards. Actually, it was Ludwig’s fault that they hadn’t. He hadn’t wanted to hear anything about it because he had been so embarrassed and ultimately had felt so stupid for jumping to conclusions. Yet, right now, with the way he felt and the way Feliciano felt beside him….he had to know…or at least had to be told that what they had right now was only friendship and nothing more and it would never be more for whatever reasons.
It would hurt, but he’d get over it and they could go back to normal, to being best friends.
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Post by North Italy on Sept 7, 2013 12:17:31 GMT -5
Feliciano nearly squeaked in surprise and good humour as he felt the world tilt slowly around him and he was lowered back onto the bed, still within the comforting embrace Ludwig enfolded him in. He giggled quietly, the sound trailing off into a sigh as he breathed deeply and evenly, trying to memorise Ludwig’s scent.
That warm, strong arm about his waist and the sense of being close to his companion made Feliciano consider sleep for a minute or so. He chased such thoughts away quickly however, if he slept then morning would come all the quicker, and so too would Ludwig’s departure.
Pressing his face closer, Feliciano chose instead to listen to the steady rhythm of Ludwig’s heart, a small almost amusingly dopey smile curling his lips as his thoughts flittered about nonsensically.
Ludwig was never usually this forthcoming with his affections, and Feliciano loved it. Right now being held in his arms felt a lot more intimate than he suspected it should do. Feliciano was tactile and clingy by nature. Affectionate even when others felt he had no cause to be. However even he had to admit to himself that this was not something he’d usually do with anyone… so why was he being so familiar with Ludwig right now?
There was one answer, one conclusion but the coward in him shied away from it as it made him nervous to think on. Surely he wasn’t… still he was a self proclaimed ‘country of romance’ and it felt as though he thought it should… Feliciano nibbled his lip apprehensively and wriggled to press himself flush against Ludwig, hiding his face against his chest so the German wouldn’t see his blush.
Perhaps it was inevitable, or perhaps Ludwig’s usually sensible thoughts had decided to run along the same flighty path as the Italian’s own, but whatever the reason Feliciano was mildly surprised to hear the rumble of words in Ludwig’s chest as he broke the silence around them. The words he spoke shocked Feliciano further, and despite their ambiguous nature, Feliciano understood at once what he was asking.
Oh dear.
He’d expected them to never speak of it again. A small weak part of him would have preferred that. Another part of him had been aching to discuss the matter for some time however. He was just surprised that it had been Ludwig to broach the subject first.
“I didn’t…” The nervous high-pitched words were out before he could stop them, and he stopped himself in order to wet his lips, swallow, and try again. “I mean I didn’t exactly mean to, o-or rather it was one confusing thing to another…”
He floundered for a moment, blushing deeply, before gathering his nerve and removing his red face from Ludwig’s chest to look at him properly.
“W-when you asked me, I hadn’t realised that was what you were going to do, I was shocked, and…” he gave a small self-depreciating laugh. “a little scared, you know me… but I was flattered and kind of happy too.” He squirmed for a moment trying to find the right words. They’d be the truth, but he wanted to impress upon the German just how guilty and regretful he’d felt since that fateful date. “I should have said yes… I well I did want to but… it was so sudden. I thought maybe you were only asking because it would improve our alliance, not because you truly felt that way towards me. I mean it was rather sudden.” He smiled apologetically. “One minute we were playing football, the next you invited me out for dinner, gave me flowers and produced a wedding ring. I was a bit confused.”
He moved a bit closer, tilting his chin up to gauge Ludwig’s expression, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. “I am sorry. If circumstances had been- were different I probably would have given you a different answer.”
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Post by Germany on Sept 7, 2013 12:45:45 GMT -5
Ludwig had expected a long standing silence, an inability to answer or perhaps a change of subject but the explanation he had received was far from what he had prepared himself to hear. There was a buzzing in his ear, one that he couldn’t block out because it was his own mind producing it as if it couldn’t process the words that had just left Feliciano’s lips. It probably had a lot to do with the deafening silence of the room, a silence that had also attributed to this buzzing in his head. His mouth felt dry and for once Ludwig was glad he was staring up at the ceiling and not at Feliciano.
Again, he had jumped to conclusions. He had never even consulted Feliciano afterwards instead he had gone back to Roderich and Elizaveta and locked himself in a room for a good while before he felt he had strengthened his emotional barriers to face his Italian ally again. Actually, it had taken him a long time to face Feliciano a second time. It had been nearly impossible for him to meet the smaller man’s gaze or feel comfortable (if it seemed like he ever did feel comfortable) with the Italian’s physicality.
When it was reiterated to him, his plan…well, the manner he had executed the proposal. Ludwig could see how it could be taken badly and how much of a jump it would have been. Neither of them had ever talked about their feelings. They had never said anything in regards to how they viewed their friendship or if they had possibly wanted more from their relationship. Ludwig had just assumed and assumed. Then again, he had never learned how to properly process his emotions nor did he learn how to go about talking about possible feelings with another.
Ludwig had always been taught to outline a battle plan, go over it and then initiate it. It was almost a go hard or go home type of mindset. Relationships were nothing like that…he learned soon after and especially when he got over his mortification to talk about it with both Roderich and Gilbert. Obviously, he had never broached the subject with Feliciano because at that point he had honestly thought their friendship was in ruins because of his naïve and stupid actions.
This news should have made him happy; ridiculously so. However, he just felt frustrated, mostly with himself and a little bit with Feliciano because the smaller man didn’t force him to talk about it either. His face felt like it was on fire and the way he was reacting was nearly in the same way it had when he had made the proposal and completely blanked out due to stress.
It was hard to avert his gaze any more when Feliciano had tilted his chin to get a better view of the German. At first, his expression was blank besides the clear coloured cheeks and slowly he raised his hand up to rub at his eyes so his hand was shielding most of his features.
Gott….he really was an idiot.
Maybe he shouldn’t have asked….because now it would be near impossible to leave Feliciano knowing that his feelings weren’t completely unreciprocated. He wanted to keep Feliciano close, hold him and take care of him. He wanted to bury himself against the man and never let go….but now he only had a few hours left to remember the way Feliciano feels against him and remember how soft his skin and body are….there was hardly any time.
He had wasted the time they did have because he couldn’t face his own emotions. If anything, he could be just as much of a coward as many people assumed Feliciano to be. However, Feliciano never lied to him about his feelings. The Italian was always very forward with them and especially so if he asked. He couldn’t quite say the same thing because as much as he wanted to say he had been just as honest, there were times when he kept things to himself— this instance being a perfect example.
But as much as he wanted to ask Feliciano again and see if he would accept his proposal….it was too late and it would be unfair to do so.
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Post by North Italy on Sept 7, 2013 18:30:23 GMT -5
He wasn’t sure what he expected in way of reaction to his rather garbled explanation, however dead silence probably wasn’t the best thing. At least he hadn’t become annoyed or upset with him… but neither was he giving the Italian any real hints as to what he felt.
The pessimist in him half expected Ludwig to turn around and state that it didn’t matter because it was too late and his feelings had ceased to be anything but simple friendship upon Feliciano’s rejection.
On the other hand he tried to remain hopeful… hopeful that his confusing yet growing emotions were somehow reciprocated.
Feliciano knew of course that, at least for now, nothing could come of their feelings even if they were shared. Not only were they both male but in the middle of a war, and on opposing sides no less. The hopeless romantic in him wanted to liken it to one of the old romance tales full of drama… he quickly quashed the thought as being too trite.
Keeping his eyes locked on the German’s, Feliciano couldn’t help but feel a little concerned for him. He had the nagging sensation that he’d seen Ludwig wear this expression before, and it didn’t bode particularly well. That blank face and flushed cheeks, eyes somewhat unfocused. He’d looked that way then too… when he’d proposed.
The slow movement of Ludwig’s hand to shield his face caught Feliciano by surprise after so many quiet, still moments, and he started slightly at the action. Ludwig looked conflicted…
Quickly pulling himself together, Feliciano reached up and gently cupped Ludwig’s jaw in his hands to try and grab his attention. “Ludwig?.. Are you-“ Feliciano’s voice, strangely quiet, stopped there. To ask if he was ‘alright’ seemed wrong somehow and so he tried a different approach. “I’m sorry that I didn’t really word that well- y’know if I made things awkward… but I just thought since we’ll soon- well you know… that I should be honest since you asked me. I-I’m sorry too that I didn’t accept before and- ah but I suppose I already said that. Um… you’re not too annoyed are you?”
Feliciano kept his hands where they were, mirroring Ludwig’s earlier actions in letting his thumbs brush the German’s skin gently as he kept a close watch on him for any hint of what he was thinking. “I should- well I should say thank you for that by the way… I don’t think I said it before, but it was really sweet. Oh and you were right, I did like those flowers because of the myths… a-and the ring was cute, the restaurant was really pretty too…” Feliciano rambled on incessantly as he tended to do when faced with uncomfortable silences.
He didn’t know what would happen now, well he knew what would happen come morning but right now… the Italian had no clue how his companion might feel in return. What he wanted to do though was cling to him, memorise every bit of Ludwig he could and somehow show the other man how much he cared.
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Post by Germany on Sept 7, 2013 18:59:18 GMT -5
Ludwig could hear Feliciano but at the same time he wasn’t really processing the words coming out of the Italian’s mouth. There were so many things running through his head and most of them running over memories that he really couldn’t do anything about. It was too late to alter anything and what had happened he liked to think happened for a reason, even if that reason at the time seemed cruel. However, right now, even though what he had been expecting to hear was not what he got, it still felt cruel. This was there last time together. There would be no more of this afterwards and who knew what would happen even further along.
His gaze focused a little more when his jaw was taken in Feliciano’s delicate hold. He wanted to look anywhere but at Feliciano but he met the soft brown gaze. His face was flushed again but this time he had managed to keep himself from breaking down so badly. It would have been in bad taste anyway if he were to completely shut down when he should be leaving soon so he doesn’t get caught by Romano or any of the other allies. Again, he could only think of the anger that would come from die Fuhrer if the man found out what he had been up too. It had already been bad enough losing the Italians but to lose the personification would have been ten times worse.
Ludwig studied Feliciano’s features and the slight caress of the man’s thumb over his own cheek caused him to feel a mixture of emotions. A mixture that he really didn’t even want to get into preferring the ignorance of his state right now so he could take in the moment. It didn’t help that he looked sad again but perhaps it was inevitable because lately he couldn’t find anything to be that happy about. Then again, he was sure Feliciano would tell him, if he knew what the German was feeling, that he should be happy that they finally know where they both stand with each other. That there was no more mystery and that they managed to talk about it regardless of the time. A little bit of time was better than no time.
The taller male gently propped himself up on his elbows face flushed as usually as he contemplated his next actions. He would not have time to do this again or at least for a while and so he would swallow his embarrassment and for once use his courage for something other than fighting. His hand hesitantly but gently wrapped around Feliciano’s head as he leaned forward and just as hesitantly as his hand he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Feliciano’s in a soft kiss.
He had nothing more to say, or rather, he didn’t know what to say but at least through this Feliciano would understand….maybe. And that was what Ludwig wanted ultimately, for Feliciano to understand that he still wanted him just as much as he had wanted him before, if not more. Because, he couldn’t think of another person who could balance him out so well.
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Post by North Italy on Sept 7, 2013 19:41:03 GMT -5
The Italian’s verbal torrent of… well nothing really… was slowly trickling to a halt. It wasn’t often the personification of Italy could admit to having nothing to say, but it seemed that just such a rare occurrence was happening this very moment.
He’d begun to repeat himself a few sentences back, he knew this. He also knew he was probably making little to no sense whatsoever. It hadn’t escaped his attention either that he wasn’t exactly being listened to. Ludwig still had that air about him; that he was conscious but the cogs that were usually so well oiled in that mind of his weren’t quite turning as they should.
Trying to gain Ludwig’s attention had led him to gravitating a little closer, and Feliciano was unnerved and upset to see the flicker of sadness return to Ludwig’s face. Why was he sad?
Well he knew somewhere deep inside he felt the same at the ever present threat of their impending separation but… Damn was Ludwig about to tell him that he didn’t want him anymore?
Feliciano’s thoughts ran panicked loops and his finally stalling, stuttering chatter was little more than a quiet breathy background noise as he searched for something… anything to talk about in order to forestall the rejection he thought might be looming. It was no more than what he deserved he supposed, he’d done the same thing but… Dio it would still hurt something terrible.
It was something of a shock then, to find Ludwig pushing himself up onto his elbows and regarding him with that all too familiar flush again. “Ludwig… what-?”
For once it was his turn to be rendered speechless, his mind drawing a blank as a hesitant, gentle hand was wrapped around the back of his head, and Ludwig leaned in close to press his lips softly to Feliciano’s.
It took some seconds for Feliciano to realise he wasn’t imagining or misinterpreting his actions. This wasn’t merely a friendly gesture or a mistake. He wasn’t being rejected either. The revelation caused him to squeak a happy little sound against Ludwig’s mouth, smiling into the kiss as he let his eyes fall shut.
He hadn’t rejected him! He still liked him and this was the proof. Whatever happened now they’d at least have this.
Feliciano knew this was something that should be done carefully, taken slowly so as not to overstep any boundaries or cause his companion discomfort, but the Italian’s natural disposition coupled with the knowledge that they didn’t have the time to be slow and care-free about this caused him to throw those thoughts out the window.
He wanted to be just as tender and caring in his actions as Ludwig, but that just wasn’t how he was. He was the type of person who grabbed life with both hands and enjoyed whatever he did to the full. He was passionate and reckless and hardly ever paused to think things through. And he’d be damned if he let this chance escape him.
As if to prove this point, Feliciano wrapped his arms around Ludwig’s shoulders and pulled him down closer, suppressing a giddy little giggle as his own first tentative brush of lips became more eager. This had been what he’d wanted for some time now? He was fairly sure it was and felt more than a little embarrassed that he hadn’t realised it sooner. There was no time for hindsight of course, but Feliciano couldn’t help but feel just a little irritated at himself for having not done something sooner. If the pleasant warmth slowly spreading throughout his chest, the quickening pace of his heart, and tingling lips were anything to go by then he could have been enjoying these sensations for a long time before now.
His mind stubbornly pushed aside counter arguments of ‘but we’re both men’ and ‘but we’re meant to be enemies’ to concentrate on the here and now; after all that’s all that mattered at the moment.
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Post by Germany on Sept 7, 2013 22:52:48 GMT -5
Technically, according to the Third Reich, what Ludwig was currently doing was against everything the party in power in his country was against. They persecuted the homosexuals just as they persecuted the Jews. They called this act unnatural and when Ernst Rohm the head of the SA was thrown into bad light, it became more so of a crime because it was linked to a supposed traitor against the Reich. However, Ludwig couldn’t find this wrong. Everything about how they were together was innocent (or at least that’s how he liked to perceive it); he would have never pursued this further if there weren’t strong feelings behind it (because it was obvious now how much Ludwig did in fact care for Feliciano).
For some reason, even though he knew that Feliciano now shared the same feelings as him, he half expected the man to push him away. He almost wanted the Italian to do so because then it would make leaving a little less difficult. So, when he felt soft lips respond and arms wrap around his shoulders pulling him nearly on top of his smaller companion, he could feel his heart clench tightly beneath his ribcage.
The kiss didn’t become more eager, desperate really on Ludwig’s part as he continued to press in for more not getting enough of it. Eventually, he had to shift, nudging Feliciano’s knees to settle between his thighs to continue kissing him innocently. His face was heated; he could feel how hot it had become over the progression of their activities. Although, really, it was just more kissing and nothing more because as much as Ludwig would have wanted too. He wasn’t as driven by his emotions and passion as Feliciano was and for this the Italian would have to take the reins or at least urge him forward.
There was a point where Ludwig pulled away to glance down at his companion with hazy eyes. He was a little out of breath but through the haziness there was a look of complete adoration for the small man underneath him, Ludwig was surprised his breath wasn’t completely taken away from him. His cheeks flared red again as he slowly lowered his head down onto the pillow beside Feliciano’s ear.
“Feliciano…what are we doing?” He asks quietly fully aware of what they were doing but not quite aware what they were doing emotionally. Wouldn’t this just make it worse? Shouldn’t they refrain even though really, at this point, Ludwig wanted to continue, he wanted to memorise the Italian’s body and feel him move against him.
He swallowed hard the images of what could happen filling his mind and causing him to bite his lip to quell the want for such pleasures. Ludwig was a strong man, this was true because of not only the way he trained but the way he handled himself and his situations. However, the tall German could also be very weak. It was instances like these that catered more to his weaker side. A side that he liked to hide away but occasionally give into as well.
He turns his head to plant soft kisses along the side of Feliciano’s neck and trail his lips over the contour of the other’s jawline.
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Post by North Italy on Sept 8, 2013 11:47:40 GMT -5
The expectation he’d had regarding the response to the way he kissed back was that Ludwig would stop, maybe pull away and tell him to take things slower. Clearly that assumption (as so many others he’d made) was incorrect.
What he’d thought would remain a hesitant and explorative act was quickly becoming desperate, passionate even, and the Italian had to stop himself from smiling too obviously against the other man’s lips.
A hazy sort of peace had descended over them again, and as if from far away Feliciano registered that Ludwig was making himself comfortable; a nudge to his knees letting Ludwig settle between his legs and rest above him as the kisses continued. The soft press of lips between them, the gentle touches, and the heat radiating from the German above him caused Feliciano to feel utterly content with a scenario that he was amazed was happening at all.
He was pinned, thoroughly and completely between the mattress and the man above him, who he hadn’t realised until recently just how much he cared for and loved. Somehow the sensation of being trapped didn’t worry him in the least; it was warm and made him feel oddly safe.
Feliciano had been about to part his lips to deepen the kiss further, when Ludwig pulled back and Feliciano was half tempted to pout, half tempted to chase his mouth with his own to kiss him again. The look he was given made him pause however. Those clear blue eyes were hazy, Ludwig was out of breath, red faced, and the expression he wore was one of complete adoration.
He marvelled at it for a moment, a silly smile and flush of his own appearing in response, his fingers tentatively trailing up to touch Ludwig’s cheek. The German’s head descended again, and Feliciano was expecting another kiss, instead he found Ludwig’s face buried into the pillow beside him, and strained to hear the quiet mumble of the German’s voice.
The words spoken were of course meant rhetorically, but Feliciano couldn’t help but gain some small amount of amusement from them. He smirked cheekily and turned his head in order to nuzzle against Ludwig’s cheek. “Hmm, I think we’re kissing… or we were.” He flushed slightly. “We can stop if you’d like… but I’d rather carry on.”
Grinning shyly, Feliciano flushed all the more as Ludwig turned and kissed his neck and jaw. Sighing happily, the Italian tilted his head to allow Ludwig to continue, his arms wrapping tight at his back. Wriggling comfortably against him, Feliciano decided that whatever Ludwig wanted to do, Feliciano would happily go along with. Though given the circumstances, perhaps keeping things innocent was for the best, anything more would definitely make separation all the more difficult.
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Post by Germany on Sept 8, 2013 13:05:17 GMT -5
When Ludwig’s lips made their way back down to Feliciano’s neck he couldn’t help but press his face into the crook of the Italian’s neck. He tightened his hold around him pulling him firmly against him as he also trailed a hand down the man’s back giving him gentle caresses. He didn’t want to look at the clock that hung over the make shift table-desk. The clock that would advise him how little time he had left and that he would have to stop his exploration of his companion’s body.
He slowly pulled away to again gaze down at Feliciano and once again press another desperate kiss against his lips. It was interesting how much he would miss gazing upon his friend. It was also interesting how much he had taken the other’s company for granted until just now. Then again, it has always been said that one never realised what they had until it was gone. This was partially true in Ludwig’s case but it was more he knew what he had but he had never tried acting on it a second time because he had become afraid. Afraid to be stung by rejection and afraid that his vulnerability would be taken advantage of like so many years back.
However, that instance was far different from this one and it had been made clear throughout those several exchanges. During that time he had also learned a little about being in this exact scenario minus the needing to part ways. It had all been explained to him and at the time he had thought nothing of it. He hadn’t realised that he would so easily be susceptible to falling in love. It seemed like a preposterous thought at the time but now it was more than real. It was a good and bad real, one that would have made him feel on top of the world if he knew he’d be coming home to Feliciano every day even the worst of days.
It was also interested how quick time passed him by. He could remember the day that he had first met Feliciano followed by the day he had had the mental break down and was convinced that Feliciano had rejected him. Now, he could just imagine how quick his remaining time with Feliciano would be like especially when he was looking back on it on his escape back to the German occupied Italy.
Ludwig’s hands were trailing up and down Feliciano’s side taking in every contour and committing it to memory. He was mapping his companion almost in the same way he would hand draw maps they would use to explain their next battle movement. It was a mental map he would store safely so that on his many lonely nights, he could be reminded of the little time he had had with the one person he loved.
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Post by North Italy on Sept 8, 2013 14:03:38 GMT -5
He could tell without even looking at the other’s face that he was feeling melancholy, and who could blame him? Feliciano felt that way too, underneath the happiness that had surrounded him from the first touch of their lips. This wouldn’t last long…
A soft sigh escaped him again as Ludwig’s face was pressed against his neck and he was held firmly against the other’s body. The gentle caresses to his back made him smile despite the underlying wave of sadness. He loved him, and was loved in return. And although this was all they’d have to last them until the world calmed down again, at least it was a comfort to know that they cared for one another.
His musings were interrupted as Ludwig pulled back and proceeded to kiss him again, just as desperately as before. Deciding to dwell on less cheerful thoughts at a later date and instead concentrate on now, Feliciano kissed back with equal feeling. More than anything he wanted to make Ludwig feel happier, if only for this short time they'd been granted.
Pushing aside his own regrets, his own upset at this being their last time together, Feliciano moved his hands up to cup Ludwig’s face and pull him as close as possible, parting his lips as he deepened their kiss.
Had he been asked years ago if he could imagine himself with anyone, Feliciano would have shaken his head, perhaps laughed lightly at the suggestion, and joked his way out of being put on the spot. He’d made a promise so long ago that some days it was difficult to remember the finer details. But that promise he’d endeavoured to keep for the rest of his existence, even if the person he’d made that promise to was no longer around to keep their end of the bargain; he’d sworn to keep his. So no, until recently he’d not imagined a life with any partner. Now though… although misunderstanding and some guilt had prevented him from accepting Ludwig’s proposal he really had wanted to. He wanted to be with this man forever. And as much as a traitor to his first love as that would make him, Feliciano couldn’t help but think that Holy Rome wouldn’t have wanted him to stay alone and miserable forever… so why shouldn’t he pursue happiness with another?
Hands at his sides, trailing feather light touches as if they were memorising each and every part of him called him back from his thoughts. Feliciano laughed softly, his breath catching as he pulled back to kiss the bridge of Ludwig’s nose. “That tickles y’know.”
Hooking one foot around Ludwig’s leg in order to shift and press himself flush to the other, Feliciano let his own hands mirror the German’s in questing down his sides and across his back to commit the way his body felt to memory. Between numerous kisses Feliciano mumbled quietly in Italian, half hoping the other would be too distracted to understand, as he didn’t want to put the other off by being too forward. “I’m glad we’re doing this, and I really am sorry I didn’t say yes before… I love you a lot…”
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Post by Germany on Jun 18, 2014 13:58:23 GMT -5
Ludwig was generally fairly good with languages. In his time with Roderich he'd managed to master English, French and a good amount of Hungarian thanks to Elizaveta. However, Italian....that was a language that he was slowly coming to learn. It wasn't a language that he was able to put much effort seeing as the war had him in all different kinds of areas, dealing with different situations and nations. But, the very basics had not been too difficult for Ludwig to remember and even though he had never really used them with Feliciano...he had practiced it the few times he'd had the chance in visiting the country itself...on good terms.
Feliciano's soft laugh had managed to pull a small smile out of Ludwig. Of course, it didn't reach his eyes but it was something. It was better than his downturned expression the entire mission to the hotel. Ludwig can't help but close his eyes when he feels Feliciano's lips press against the bridge of his nose and he hums lightly. "I keep forgetting how ticklish you are..." He murmurs as he opens his eyes again to gaze into Feliciano's chocolate brown.
Ludwig meets everyone of Feliciano's kisses, kissing him back and wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him flush against him. Eventually he does lower Feliciano back onto the bed and presses himself down against him kissing a trail along the smaller man's jaw.
There were parts of what Feliciano had said that Ludwig wasn't too sure what he was trying to tell him. They were murmured words between kisses that made it hard for Ludwig to really concentrate and interpret them. This also showed that he had a long way before he could speak it as well as his English or French. However, he did catch the last few words and the thing is...it wouldn't be hard for anyone really to understand those especially with the emotion behind it.
There's a second where Ludwig pulls back, flushed but unable to respond to the small bit of Feliciano's statement that he had understood. He looks genuinely surprised because love was nothing to joke around about and it seemed...well, even after his failed proposal...it seemed hard to swallow. It just seemed as if neither of them were ready to admit that and doing so now was unfair to the both of them.
"Feliciano....you don't mean that...." Ludwig finally speaks up his voice quiet but serious. A part of him wanted to return the statement and tell Feliciano that he felt the same but he couldn't bring himself to do that especially with the impending separation. He knew better than to be so cruel. Then again, he was sure many would think he cruel for not returning the statement when they had so little time.
Honestly, it was probably stupid of him to think....rather want Feliciano not to mean it. There actions....this mission he had partaken on to deliver Feliciano to the allies....it all exemplified the fact that he was very much in love with the smaller man. It was a love that needed more time to grow...to be understood. It was just in the first stages of it's metaphorical life. There is a lot they needed to learn....grow....develop but now, now there was hardly enough time for any of that.
When he lost the war, and Ludwig knew he would....it would just extend their time apart letting that love float in limbo with nowhere to go or grow. That was why Ludwig didn't want Feliciano to mean it...even though it was clear that the smaller male did and it wasn't fair of him to disregard it like he did....but in his mind it was the only thing that seemed logical at the moment.
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