Italia Del Sud

Nation: Il Mezzogiorno/Italia del Sud/South Italy/Republica Italia/South Italy

Name: Lovino Vargas

Gender: Male

Appearance Age: Roughly twenty-three

Actual Age:
Unification-based: 153
Since 'birth': I place Lovino's birth at 218 BCE - right around the start of the Second Punic War so… about 2232 years give or take.
(Please note that I write Lovino as having been Sicily, and then the Kingdom of Two Sicilies, etc., up until unification)




Hair Color: Chestnut

Eye Color: Hazel

Height: 172/173 cm (roughly 5'8'')

Weight: ~140 lbs

Appearance:
The most noticeable thing about Lovino is probably the large, gravity-defying curl that sprouts from nearly the centre of his head (in fact, it's actually just to the right of centre, not that anyone really cares to pay attention to that, or much of anything with him, really, but we'll get to that later). Beyond that, though Lovino isn't that remarkable. He isn't particularly tall or particularly short, and while he's not wide he's not all too thin either. Not skin-and-bones thin, anyway, a bit scrawny, perhaps, but not enough to cause notice. In fact he's entirely unremarkable, if not for his firy temper. At a glance he's not much. Short, brown hair, brown-green eyes and olive skin tanned from centuries spent working the earth. He's lean and wiry, 'little scrapper' style.

In terms of dress Lovino tries to look cool and suave on a regular basis, but it doesn't really work out well for him. He's too awkwardly plain to look impressive, even when he gets all put up in suits and the like. He does dress nice, but the effect is generally ruined because he leaves his clothes lying around on the floor or stuffed away so they get wrinkled, so while he might be wearing nice slacks, they don’t look nice after the third wear or so. When he does actively try to dress up, however, he usually does a fine job of it. Milan is one of the three fashion capitals of the world and Lovino makes use of Italy's hold on fashion - there's a reason people put stock in Armani, after all - he's a bit of a clothes horse and is more than capable of giving himself a dashing makeover with a limited amount of time. He's particularly fond of deep reds as far as shirts go, that or a nice clean white, and usually wears slacks and a sports coat for everything but gardening, even if it's just being around the house. He was particularly taken with the idea of the American Gangster during the nineteen twenties (during which he stayed in America for several years, to avoid the poverty in his own land, to make what profit he could off bootlegging, and to get a foothold in his newly forming mafia) much as he'd later become infatuated with their idea of cowboys (and American media in general, there was nearly an era of love of it over in Italy and Lovino is quite the fan, though he'll never admit to it) and he never really left the twenties in terms of dress. He likes suits, he has a vast collection of waist coats, and he's thoroughly convinced that the fedora will never go out of style. Now if he'd just bother to fold them nicely when he was done rather then letting them pile up…

One thing that he does take care of on his person is his crucifix - Lovino is deeply religious (more on this later), and he never goes out without it, save for those period of two or three decades when he stumbles on the edge of loosing faith. It's one of his grounding pieces, and he feels rather naked without it.


Defining Features: Lovinio's curl is certainly his most notable characteristic - beyond the natural curls of his hair it sticks out prominently and refuses to be tamed or contained by brush or gel or other hair product. Other than this, however, he is not particularly noticeable and looks like most Sicilian men - with the possible notation that he is nearly always scowling, unless he's talking to a pretty woman.

As for scars, particularly notable ones… Well Lovino's been around for a long bloody time, he's had his fair share of marks, and he doesn't really keep track of which marks represent what anymore. He's fairly marked up, and keeping track of every scar or burn is just a pain. While there are a few he remembers in particular (that from the March on Rome, Vatican's splitting apart, a mess of them around his middle from unification, the 1862 and 1866 revolutions, and the Messina-Reggio earthquake) they aren't particularly noticeable.

Who Am I?

Personality: Lovino is known for his quick temper and sharp tongue, and for good reason. He's an irritable little soul, easily enflamed and seemingly always angry. Bitter and jealous from lifetimes spent in second place, Lovino was born first but never treated to the spoils that should have come with that, and it's left him with a mighty inferiority complex. Even before he shared Italia with Feliciano Lovino has played second fiddle to his more talented other half, and while he started out with a deep admiration for the other ("look what my little brother can do! I can't even do that, he's so talented-!") it quickly turned into a fierce jealousy that he's never gotten over. While he still loves Feliciano dearly (a fierce affection bordering on a brother-complex - why else is he still around, unneeded, half a nation, then to take care of Feliciano and make sure that he's the best he can be?), he can't help but be incredibly jealous of what Feliciano has, what he can do, how people see him. The result is a nice mix of being obsessively protective and possessive of the other, and violently bitter of Feliciano's every success.

Lovino is half of Italy, as we all well know, but it's not the only nation he's represented half of. In his younger years Lovino was half of the Kingdom of Two Sicilies (a fact I base on the very name of the Kingdom) with the former city-state of Sicily, and that's about when he learned that you don't need two representations, and sooner or later the unneeded extra, well, isn't around anymore to put it kindly. So he's not really sure why he still exists given that Feliciano is very clearly the better half of Italy, the one everyone wants and needs, not him (he suspects his still being around might have something to do with Vaticano/Vatican City being it's own country but still generally being considered a part of Italia, but he's not really sure). So he's rather convinced himself that his reason for existing is to take care of Feliciano, to raise him up to all that he can be, even if that means that he ends up taking most of the shit and deal with the nastier parts of being a country (which he doesn't always do, Lovino can be incredibly lazy when he wants to be, and even when he doesn't, but as a general rule he tries to deal with the sticker situations before Feliciano, if he can help it). After all, what else are older brothers for? For making sure the little ones turn out all right. And while he takes on this role fairly easily (and honestly without much complaint, despite how much of a whiner he can be) it's given him further reason to resent Feliciano, when he feels that as the older brother he really ought to be the one in his place. But he's not, and he's learned to accept that, if only because there's not much he can do to change that.

Lovino is incredibly religious, it's something that's held him together through the millennia. While he was 'born' before the rise of Christianity, when it first began to take root he in the front lines of believers, and while he may have strayed from the beaten path of the devote he's never truly lost his faith, just tried to abandon it from time to time during fits of believing that God had some serious shit out for him. Lovino's faith is incredibly important to him, in a world where just about everything he's been given has been shit (shit land, shit weather, shit leaders, shit bro- you get the point) it's one of the few things he's found that he's seen as truly good. Even with some of the god awful things that have happened in direct relation to it. Religion is also the only thing he's had that he could always turn to, no matter the situation. God might not listen to him, but a Father always would, it was always somewhere to go to, someone to turn to, someone to listen and be there and not give up on him no matter how sure he might be that he'll be going to hell in the end. And he is certain he's going to hell - how could he not be? He's been sinning for longer then he knew what sinningwas, before that was an idea that really crossed people's minds. He's been sinning so long that he's pretty sure he couldn't stop even if he tried, so with some things he doesn't, and with the others he feels guilty and does penance for but eventually commits again, repeat at nausium. So he goes through fits of living incredibly piously, and relapsing into far more scandalous activities, coming out of these times with a zealous fervor for changing his behaviour, doing his penance, and getting back to God, though it never really lasts.

Lovi has a seriously violent streak, one far beyond his tendency to headbutt when annoyed and ever-filthy mouth. While it's easy to forget these days - what with the generally accepted stereotype of all Italian's being cowards, and the double-whammy of him being half a nation, and therefore far easier to harm, perhaps permanently - it's no less true. Back when Lovino was the representation of the Kingdom of Two Sicilies he had quite a hunger for territory - it didn't help when Cesar Borgia came along - and he never really lost it, it's just grown nearly impossible for him to act on such. Lovino's lived most of his life with little to no control, being passed around from country to country to belong to them, so when he gets it he tends to clamp on rather violently. It's a joke in Europe that while most European countries change leaders on a regular basis an Italian leader will try and stay in power until the day they rot away, and this certainly applies to Lovino - when he has something he clings to it with everything he has, and hates the idea of letting things go, especially control, so it's a better idea not to let him have it at all. This largely comes from the influence of leaders like Cesar Borgia, who would ruthlessly try to eliminate the leaders of other city-states so that he could control more of Italia for longer. A little side effect of this is that Lovino's a hoarder. He doesn't like giving things back - in fact he hates the very idea of giving anything up. So his house is filled with things he's collected (or stolen, another bad habit) over the millennia. Halls that might once have been incredibly spacious are now death traps to the unwary wanderer because he's just got so much crap crammed in everywhere that he refuses to get rid of. It's quite possible to get lost in the labyrinth of junk he keeps around - in fact, even Lovino's gotten lost in his own house once or twice, though admittedly it is a rather huge house so it's not that hard to do. But yes, Lovi has a violent streak and hates to let things go.

Lovino is quite the flirt, and can often be seen as being actively nice to someone… as long as that someone is a beautiful lady. He is an Italian, after all, and Italy is one of the three countries of love - Lovino himself feels that Italy deserves the title far more than Spain (who is more of a country of passion) or France (which is more of a quick romance country rather than a lasting love-based one), and he'll happily go off on someone for suggesting otherwise. When not talking to a woman, though, Lovino is very notably a cranky bastard. Lovino is not, contrary to popular belief, racist, however he may seem to be. In fact, he hates everyone equally. It's not any one group specifically, it's just everyone all at once. He's a sour person, and he gives every stranger and equal dose of dislike. Of course, there are certain countries -coughGermanycough- who he tends to lash out at verbally more than others, but that's more of an individual hate then anything against their people. In the case of Germany, for example, Lovino hates him because of his history with Feliciano. Lovino was there when Holy Rome died, he saw what happened to Feli through that, saw how he hurt. And then along comes Germany with the same friggin' face, and so Lovino expects him to do the same thing to his brother as the first one did, so it's mostly him being protective. Well, that and anyone who takes up Feliciano's time is stealing his brother from him, and given that Feliciano is the only nation that actually has to notice and care about Lovino to some extent he doesn’t take kindly to having the other taken from him.

While Lovino can be very volatile and angry, there are some things that he refuses to be his angry little self around. He's an avid farmer and gardener, and a firm believer that talking to one's plants helps them to grow, so he refuses to shout when he's in his garden. He keeps himself calm and will only talk kindly around his plants, and regularly converses with them, even though they never answer him back. He also refuses to shout around his cat (Signora Camilla Baglioni, Camilla for short, named after the wife of Count Verdugo, with whom he spent some time. Mostly he just thought the name was nice) who he treats as if she were his own child. Seriously, that cat is his baby. His precious. You do not insult that cat or speak roughly to her or treat her as anything less then a friggin' princess around Lovi.


Likes:

• Being left alone, damnit!
  
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• Music
• Really, really fast cars (preferably expensive and shiny, please and thank you)
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  "The Art of Mornings" (waking up slow is an art just as much as what his brother paints, thank you very much)
• Singing (when no one important can hear him do it)
  
• being held very late at night and early in the morning (when he's too tired to remember to be angry about it)
  

Dislikes:

• Playing second fiddle to his brother
  
• Getting his license revoked (again)
  
• His brother, sometimes
  
• Spain, sometimes (a lot of the time) (okay really not all that often)
  
• Ludwig.
  
• France/Francis
  
• The idea that France is the nation of 'love' and not Italy (he has a very long rant prepared for this - France is the country of lust and one night stands, Italy is the country of love to die for and love to live for. Romeo and Juliet were Italian, after all)
  
• Loosing
  
• Being forgotten or replaced
  
• Being a replacement for people who couldn't have his brother
  
• Being ignored
  
• Having too much attention paid to him
  
• English cooking
  
• American 'Italian' restaurants (honestly any Italian restaurant that's not authentically Italian)
  

Fears:

• Loosing his brother
  
• Thunderstorms - he's absolutely terrified of them. I can't quite write out why because I'll probably use it in the future and I don't want to spoil that here. Rest assured that there's some historical backing for it.
  
• Dogs, next to thunderstorms their his biggest fear, and it's almost totally irrational, it traces back to a bad childhood experience that he can barely even remember now. Again, totally irrational, but he hears a bark or sees a dog and he'll usually scream and try to climb the nearest thing, even if it's a person (there's another reason he dislikes Germany right there: any man who can like dogs so much has to have a serious problem).
  
• Finding someone who really cares about him, only to find out that they only do so because of the resemblance to his brother (this has been something he worries about ever since Spain wanted to "trade" out with Austria for Feliciano instead)
  
• Not being good enough. It's something he's constantly faced with, but with the few things he's actually good at he's terrified of being upstaged just like he's been with everything else throughout his existence. There are a few things he's really good at, and the idea that he could still be second best in even those...
  

Fun Facts:

• While Feliciano is the half of Italy known for little outbursts of 've~' Lovino makes this unexplained noise as well… it's just incredibly rare to get him into a position where he's contented enough to actually make it, so he's more known for his frustrated exclamations of 'chigii!'
  
• Canon tells us that when Lovino was younger, he had choreia/chorea, a disease that effects movement and can cause random muscle spasms (back then it was called the dancing disease because it was thought that dance - specifically the Tarantella - would cure it). Chorea, if not medically treated at an early age, can stay with someone throughout adult hood - as such Lovino still has it, it's just a lot less pronounced now, so he still gets random spasms, but he tries to cover it up by acting like it was intentional. Because of the intensive dance therapy that Spain gave him (again in canon) to try and cure this Lovino is now brilliant at the tarantella. He actually went on to do a lot of dance work, and now is quite skilled in both Latin and regular ballroom dances, in both leading and following positions.
  
• When he was younger Lovino sang as a choir boy - and he never stopped singing, even after he got too old for the choir. As a side note for this Lovino has an immersive love of the opera.
  
• Lovino is a bit of a hoarder - he keeps his hands on things for way longer than he should. Be careful when going to his house, you may end up opening a door and being crushed by the contents of a room spilling out.

Strengths:

• He's brilliant at cooking, if nothing else.
  
• He has a green thumb. Really, he can grow anything.
  
• He's stubborn as all hell, a real bull when it comes to not budging on things.
  
• He's not above fighting dirty, while this might be seen as cheap it gets the job done.
  
• He can lie pretty convincingly…except when it's about how he feels.
  
• He doesn't shy away from the shittier, darker jobs of being a nation - if something needs to be done he gets it done, even if it isn't sunshine and roses. That's part of why he's the one that deals with the mafia.
  
• He's good at talking to women, very good, actually, he can be quite suave and charming.
  
• He's pretty damn fast.
  
• Even faster with a car. Which he could hotwire no matter the model or make.
  

Weaknesses:

• He's an irritable argumentative little snot who doesn't play well with others.
  
• He's stubborn as all hell, so sometimes he won't budge on things that he should really give way with.
  
• He's weak - not only is he only half a nation, but he's the impoverished, uneducated, sickly half that has a penchant for being hit with disastrous weather and horrible illnesses (the Black Death has been tracked back to starting on the docks of Sicily, after all)
  
• While he's speedy, he has next to no endurance. He can bolt away ridiculously fast, but he can't run for more than an hour without collapsing into gasps and heaves.
  
• He gets sick really easily, for a nation. It comes from the impoverished state his people have been in for centuries.
  
• He has absolutely no sense of direction. Like, Austria level bad.
  
• He's a lazy, selfish bastard who complains like whoa.
  
• He's horribly out of touch with his own emotions.
  
• He's really friggin' proud for how useless and weak he tends to be, so when he screws up it's really hard to get him to apologise
  

(more will be added to this over time, as I am constantly learning more about his history, please check back whenever for updates)
[PERIOD OF SETTLEMENT AND GREEK CULTURE] 
Some time before 3000 BC
Stone Age tribal groups migrate across Mediterranean, some of them settle in what will later be Sicily.

1800 BC
Distinct "native" Sicanian culture identifiable across Sicily. Mycenean and Late Minoan cultures present in isolated eastern localities.

1500 - 1000 BC 
Siculi, Sicani and Elymni arrive in Sicily from the Italian penninsula, North Africa and Asia Minor 

1000 - 800 BC 
Phoenicians establish trading settlements along north-western coast 

735 BC 
Chalcidians of Euboea begin Greek settlement of Sicily by establishing the city of Naxos on the eastern coast, Lovino is born some time during this year, representing Naxos, though he will later become the Messina when it is formed.

733 BC
Syracuse (Siracusa) founded as Greek colony.

730 BC
Zancle (Messina) settled.

729 BC
Katane (Catania) settled by Chalcidians from Naxos (kinda like Lovino's first not-quite conquest)

705 BC
Greeks assimilate Sicels' city of Enna, with which myth of Persephone becomes identified.

700 BC
Phoenicians establish Punic city of Zis (Palermo) and other trading posts (including Motya and Kfra or Solunto) in western Sicily. Phoenician alphabet (basis for Roman and Greek letters) introduced.

688 BC
Gela founded.

650 BC
Himera (Termini Imerese) founded.

630 BC
Selinus (Selinunte) established.

580 BC
Akragas (Agrigento) founded.

485 BC 
Gelon, the Tyrant of Gela, centralizes control of Greek Sicily in Syracuse 

480 BC 
Syracuse defeats Carthage at Battle of Himera 

413 BC 
Syracuse destroys Athenian attack force 

396
Tyndaris colonised

409
301 BC 
Carthage, allied with the Siculi and Phoenician cities of Sicily, commences a century of debilitating and indecisive wars with Syracuse 



[PERIOD OF ROMAN RULE] 

282 BC 
The Italian invasion of Sicily begins as former mercenaries from mainland Italy seize Messina, Lovino, then representing Sicily as a whole, starts to fold into Roman culture. He begins to forget Greek and learn Latin, bit by bit. I like to think this is when Lovino first saw Feliciano, though he didn't rightfully meet him as of yet.

265-215 BC
Hieron II king of Syracuse. His death signals beginning of Roman control of Sicily.



264
-241 BC
Rome and Carthage battle for Sicily in the First Punic War, Second Punic War in 218, ending in 201.


263 BC 
Syracuse allies with Rome as a vassal state 

241 BC 
Carthage cedes to Rome its territory in western Sicily; Rome begins 600 years of rule in Sicily, Lovino completely forgets Greek (though he will later learn it again out if interest) in favour of Latin.

218 BC
***I place Lovino's birth right around here***

146 BC
Romans defeat Carthaginians in Third Punic War. Romans call Palermo Panormus. Earliest Jewish communities in eastern Sicily.

136-132 BC
Slave revolt led by Eunus with base at Enna. Slaves conquer large area before defeat by Roman army.

104-100 BC
Slave revolt led by Salvius.

70 BC
Cicero prosecutes Verres, corrupt governor of Sicily.

6 BC
Lovino converts to Catholicism

3 BC?
Diodorus Siculus, historian, dies.

AD 59? 
Saint Paul preaches in Syracuse en route to Rome.

AD 251
Saint Agatha martyred; later venerated as patroness of Catania.

AD 303-306
Diocletian's persecution of Christians. Saint Lucy (of Syracuse) martyred.

AD 306
Constantine the Great rules until 337. Permits open practice of Christian religion.

325
Council of Nicea defines Christian doctrine and determines accepted New Testament scripture. By now Syracuse is Christianized.

330
Capital of Roman Empire transferred to Byzantium (Constantinople).

AD 380
Christianity official religion of Roman Empire.





[PERIODS OF BARBARIAN AND BYZANTINE RULE] 

440 
Vandals from North Africa invade and capture Sicily 

476 
Vandals cede Sicily by treaty to Odoacer 

489 
Theodoric's Ostrogoths invade and seize control of Italy 

491 
Ostrogoths succeed to dominion over Sicily 
533-
551 
Byzantine [Eastern Roman] Empire counterattacks against Ostrogoths, and under Belisarius they drive the Ostrogoths from Sicily 





[PERIOD OF SARACEN RULE] 

827 
Saracens from North Africa begin their invasion of Sicily 

831 
Palermo captured by Saracen invaders from Iberian peninsula 

965 
Saracens complete the conquest of Sicily 



[PERIODS OF FRENCH AND GERMAN RULE] 

1060 
Normans under Robert and Roger d'Hauteville begin an invasion of Sicily at Messina, Lovino is, again, attacked right at the heart. Thanks, guys.

1091 
Normans complete conquest and rule Sicily as part of a powerful new kingdom including the southern Italian peninsula, Lovino learns French. Yay?

1194 
King Henry VI of Germany, Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, seizes the Norman kingdom, deriving his claim from his marriage to the daughter of Count Roger d'Hauteville, and Lovino starts to learn German, though he'll later make a point to forget it as fast as he can.

1198 
The celebrated Frederick II, later hailed by his contemporaries as Stupor Mundi ["Wonder of the World"] succeeds his father, Henry VI. Lovino doesn't understand his infatuation with Italian Greyhounds, and generally isn't pleased, but then again, when is he ever?

1266 
Supported by Pope Urban IV, Charles, Count of Anjou, seizes control of Sicily, slaying Frederick II's illegitimate son and successor Manfred 



[PERIOD OF SPANISH RULE] 

1282 
The Sicilians revolt against the Anjou French in the dramatic episode known as the Sicilian Vespers, cede sovereignty to Manfred's son-in-law, Peter III, King of Aragon [Spain], Lovino moves into Spain's house and becomes his 'henchman'

1296 
Under threat of being returned to the Anjou French, the island of Sicily enters a brief period of independence under the rule of Frederick III, brother of the King of Aragon and grandson of Manfred 

1442 
Alphonso V "the Magnanimous" of Aragon reunites the Kingdom of Sicily and the Kingdom of Naples, I interpret this as a marriage between Lovino and Naples, though if we ever get a Naples we'll just have to see about that, now won't we?

1701
-1712 
War of Spanish Succession erupts through Europe 

1713
-1738
Treaty of Utrecht leads to New Kingdom of Two Sicilies, Lovino becomes the sole representation of the Kingdom (after the death of Naples - see all the other times I said I'd change this if we ever got a Naples and they're displeased, please)



[PERIOD OF ITALIAN STATEHOOD] 

1860 
Garibaldi leads forces from the Kingdom of Savoy in conquering the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies and creating the Kingdom of Italy, the first unitary government of Sicily and the Italian pennisula since the Roman Empire, Lovino goes from representing the Kingdom of Two Sicilies to representing the southern half of Italy, when he manages not to die.

1862
Revolt at Castellammare del Golfo against the annexation of Sicily to the Kingdom of Italy. 

1866
The revolution of Sette E Mezzo, September 15-22, 1866, called into question the so-called plebecite favoring annexation. The revolution was suppressed by a fierce three day Italian naval bombardment of Palermo and an artillery offensive led by General Raffaele Cadorno. Fierce repressive measures followed. Sicilian folklore now includes the expression, "Succede un Sette E Mezzo" to describe a catastrophe.

1908
Disastrous Messina - Reggio earthquake of 1908 combined with subsequent tsunamis result in the total destruction of the city of Messina and the death of as many as 100,000 people in the Reggio Calabria and Messina areas. The epicenter was in the Straits of Messina. South Italians start to try and flee to America as a series of natural disasters destroy their farm land, bankrupting thousands of families. You now need a passport to get from South Italy to North Italy because the poor conditions in the South cause Northern Italians to refuse Southern Italians entry into the upper half of their own country

1920-1933
Prohibition in America. Southern Italians flock to the United States, Lovino among them, where he starts setting up a mafia network on both coasts, getting a foothold bootlegging alcohol, then hightailing it back home in 1929 after the stock market crash.

1922
Mussolini comes to power. He eventually bans the use of all languages other than Italian. All Sicilian language publishing is forbidden. Even today (1997) there is no Sicilian language newspaper in Sicily. 

1943
Patton landed forces at Licata and Gela and Montgomery landed at several places south of Syracuse. By the end of the year the facists were overthrown and Italy, under a provisional military government led by Pietro Badoglio, joined the Allies. The Nazi still held central and northern Italy. Serious help from the Italian underground, run largely through South Italy and the Italian Mafia in America (Lucky Luciano comes to mind)

1945
Rome liberated

1948
With the adoption of the new constitution on June 2nd, Italy transitions from a Monachy to a Republic.

1949
Italy joins NATO

1958
Italy joins the European Common Market

1968
A huge earthquake rocks a large area of western Sicily late Sunday night, January 14. The towns of Gibellina and Salaparuta suffered the heaviest damage at 90%.

1986
Hundreds of Mafiosi are indicted in super-trials.

2001
Mount Etna begins having minor eruptions

2007
Mount Etna has a rather spectacular eruption, covering most of the Eastern Coast of Sicily with ash and seriously damaging the fishing industry in the area.


(The following is a drabble that I've written and posted - but on the basis that it was originally from the middle of a roleplay I'm assuming it will qualify for this as well. If it doesn't please let me know and I'll write up something new! But for the time being… enjoy some jealous-yet-loving older brother Lovi. I swear I can do up-beat posts with him as well, this was just from a… rather angst-ridden thread I was doing)

Somehow it always came back to this. No matter how much he tried, no matter how much he told himself that it didn't matter what Feliciano did, that he could stand on his own, that he wasn't just an echo of something that should be it's own country. That he wasn't... wasn't fading away into nothing. Useless, less than useless.

Yes. It always came back to this, didn't it? Came back to him, standing at the end of the younger Italian's mattress, looking bitterly at the sleeping form across from him.

"Why do you always get... everything? Damnit! Talent… Affection.... Better lands, better weather... attention...."

His fingers clenched over the sheet as he glared at the sleeping form of his brother. Stupid. Not fair. And yet his voice still worked to keep down, to keep level and soft and quiet so he didn't wake his... his better half. No. The better half of Italy, since he was obviously the worse half of Feliciano. Why? Damnit! He - he had come first, he had a chance to be everything and Feliciano was nothing, he was the one that worked for them to still even be here and yet... And yet...

"They always love you! Love you first, love you instead! Want you! Want you here and me gone! 'Why can't you be more like Feliciano, Lovino?' 'If you acted more like your brother you'd be better off.' 'Isn't the older brother supposed to be more responsible?' Even Spain - especially Spain! 'Lovino, when you make a face like that you're almost as cute as your brother!' 'Oh, how un-cute. So unlike Feliciano.' 'Can I trade, Austria? I'd much prefer someone like Feliciano for me to watch over.' He always wanted you, you know...! They've all always wanted you, but he.... he was the only one willing to settle for me… Because... because I had your face...."

Dio. Now he was going to start crying. Crying over words that no one else would hear. Pathetic. He was so damn pathetic. He'd always been pathetic, he'd always be pathetic, no wonder everyone wanted Feliciano more, when he was… was this! This useless, pathetic wreck of a thing that wasn't even really a full country, wasn't even a real half-country, just so much extra hanging off when the world only needed… only need Feliciano. Not him. Never him.

"He loved you," he accused, voice thick with angry (at himself, not Feliciano, never Feliciano, jealous of him yes, but never angry, never hateful) tears yet still held low, forced quiet to preserve the other's slumber, "put it onto me because you wouldn't take it. From the very beginning I was just second prize. Something to distract him from the fact that he couldn't have what he wanted... Loved my face but never me... Loved the fact that he could close his ears and use his eyes to see you instead....Because he could touch me and act like it was you, recite things he'd wanted to say to you for ages and ages for me and act like a different pair of ears heard them. And I knew... I knew that he loved you and was taking consolation, but… But it was better that way because he wouldn't touch you! Because you'd be safe, and pure and uncorrupted and-

"But it's not fair! Not fair that I work for everything you have, that I built it all for you and I can't even get one man's heart! That I make every sacrifice that can be made for you, that - that I take away your pain, fight the battles you don't want to witness, face the people you don't want to talk to...! That I take on every dirty task this country needs done so you can be happy and I never get to be! That I deal with every ugly thing so you don't have to see it that... that I do all of this and you... you do nothing but be happy and eat pasta and everyone loves you! You, you, you and never me! You're the only one they want to know when you know nothing of what has to be done to keep you the way you are! You're the one that makes them smile, that earns their attention, their affection...! You're the one that gets to be adored...! It's not fair! Every time I find something that could possibly be something good for me you take it! You take it and suddenly it's yours, and - and I can't even hate you for it! Because you don't even mean to do it...!"

A pause, the rattling sound of breath being drawn in through tears.

"Because you're my brother and even I want you more than I want me! But I'm damn tired, Feli...! I'm getting fucking sick from all this... and tired of doing... everything for you and getting nothing in return...! I can't keep holding you up like this... and I have to anyway. It's not fucking fair!"


Name: Ember

Age: 21

Fun Fact: I and obsessively nerdy when it comes to Marvel comics and I have a mint edition Uncanny X-Men number four!