Post by Germany on Aug 8, 2014 11:19:02 GMT -5
196x
Years had passed since the end of WWII, hypothetically speaking that should have been enough time to heal most wounds but there were certain things that couldn’t help but remain latched on in hopes of one day dragging Ludwig down when he’d all but forgiven himself for all his mistakes. Luckily, this monster on his back hardly needed to be fed for the sole fact that Ludwig’s mind could be considered a monster of its own, sucking at his energy and keeping him low when no one was able to see. He managed to keep the illusion that he was doing considerably better ever since his economy picked up and he’d invited so many guest workers in to take up the jobs he really didn’t have man power to fill. It had also been a while since they’d released him from his guarded prison cell to upgrade him into a small flat in the centre of Berlin.
He’d still not been able to go back home, nor did he have any idea who was taking care of his dogs. Besides the negativity that seemed to keep him great company Ludwig was doing a lot better off than he had first started. His relationship with the former allies had improved. He’d become closer with Alfred that many of his politicians advocated for a Europe with closer ties to the United States.
Ludwig was healthy and strong. His body was back to its former strength however, his mind had lagged far behind. There were many days that he was reminded of the horrors he had committed…and every year when that fateful day come around…his body aches with the reminder of what could have been his last day as a nation. The embarrassment of having your own boss try to annihilate you would forever haunt him until he did disappear from existence.
Besides the visits from either Roderich or his other three caretakers he didn’t really make an effort to rekindle bonds that had been severed by the war. There was a part of him that couldn’t help but wonder how his former Italian ally had been and was doing but never could he bring himself to contact him. He wished he could say he was skilful when asking about him to Roderich but it was never discreet and it was always blatantly obvious why he was asking.
Roderich had urged him to at least call Feliciano to tell the man that he was alright but when he had tried….he had swiftly hung the phone up after the second ring. If anything, Ludwig was undeserving of speaking with the smaller male. There was no logical reason for why he thought this but it made sense that he’d keep the one thing he had cared deeply about during the war at arm’s length. He hardly deserved the money that Alfred had invested in him to pick him back up and get him running again.
The push to integrate him back into the European community, even the global one always seemed to put him on edge. Especially, when he couldn’t shake off the feeling that everyone he interacted with was silently judging him for his past actions….actions he would have gladly tried to stop if he had had the power to disobey his boss at the time. There were times that Ludwig could honestly say he was grateful for his blooming friendship with Alfred. The American noticed how uncomfortable he would get during the re-integration he would slow things down for him by making sure that he had time before he had to show his face at another European or international meeting of sorts.
It was also during one of them that he had spotted Feliciano and had gone at great lengths to avoid him. He even excused himself from the conference like meeting to make a quick escape back to Berlin. He was far from ready to handle such exposure to nations he had wronged even though they seemed to have forgiven him…seemed to being the key word. Yet, he was far from reaching that point of forgiving himself for his actions even though he had told his occupiers that he had, a while back.
Currently, he was occupying himself with making dinner in his small flat. The windows were open and there was the sound of the radio going off in the background prattling on about the latest updates in West German politics as well as Eastern German politics. It was early evening and he had planned to spend it quietly alone perhaps with a little cleaning after dinner. The more time that passed by the more his flat began to smell like a good home cooked meal.
Years had passed since the end of WWII, hypothetically speaking that should have been enough time to heal most wounds but there were certain things that couldn’t help but remain latched on in hopes of one day dragging Ludwig down when he’d all but forgiven himself for all his mistakes. Luckily, this monster on his back hardly needed to be fed for the sole fact that Ludwig’s mind could be considered a monster of its own, sucking at his energy and keeping him low when no one was able to see. He managed to keep the illusion that he was doing considerably better ever since his economy picked up and he’d invited so many guest workers in to take up the jobs he really didn’t have man power to fill. It had also been a while since they’d released him from his guarded prison cell to upgrade him into a small flat in the centre of Berlin.
He’d still not been able to go back home, nor did he have any idea who was taking care of his dogs. Besides the negativity that seemed to keep him great company Ludwig was doing a lot better off than he had first started. His relationship with the former allies had improved. He’d become closer with Alfred that many of his politicians advocated for a Europe with closer ties to the United States.
Ludwig was healthy and strong. His body was back to its former strength however, his mind had lagged far behind. There were many days that he was reminded of the horrors he had committed…and every year when that fateful day come around…his body aches with the reminder of what could have been his last day as a nation. The embarrassment of having your own boss try to annihilate you would forever haunt him until he did disappear from existence.
Besides the visits from either Roderich or his other three caretakers he didn’t really make an effort to rekindle bonds that had been severed by the war. There was a part of him that couldn’t help but wonder how his former Italian ally had been and was doing but never could he bring himself to contact him. He wished he could say he was skilful when asking about him to Roderich but it was never discreet and it was always blatantly obvious why he was asking.
Roderich had urged him to at least call Feliciano to tell the man that he was alright but when he had tried….he had swiftly hung the phone up after the second ring. If anything, Ludwig was undeserving of speaking with the smaller male. There was no logical reason for why he thought this but it made sense that he’d keep the one thing he had cared deeply about during the war at arm’s length. He hardly deserved the money that Alfred had invested in him to pick him back up and get him running again.
The push to integrate him back into the European community, even the global one always seemed to put him on edge. Especially, when he couldn’t shake off the feeling that everyone he interacted with was silently judging him for his past actions….actions he would have gladly tried to stop if he had had the power to disobey his boss at the time. There were times that Ludwig could honestly say he was grateful for his blooming friendship with Alfred. The American noticed how uncomfortable he would get during the re-integration he would slow things down for him by making sure that he had time before he had to show his face at another European or international meeting of sorts.
It was also during one of them that he had spotted Feliciano and had gone at great lengths to avoid him. He even excused himself from the conference like meeting to make a quick escape back to Berlin. He was far from ready to handle such exposure to nations he had wronged even though they seemed to have forgiven him…seemed to being the key word. Yet, he was far from reaching that point of forgiving himself for his actions even though he had told his occupiers that he had, a while back.
Currently, he was occupying himself with making dinner in his small flat. The windows were open and there was the sound of the radio going off in the background prattling on about the latest updates in West German politics as well as Eastern German politics. It was early evening and he had planned to spend it quietly alone perhaps with a little cleaning after dinner. The more time that passed by the more his flat began to smell like a good home cooked meal.
